Learning Outcome 1:

“Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).”

     Sommers explains the difference between two writers; a student writer and an experienced writer. The student writer appears to only focus on local revision, avoiding editing the deeper ideas of their paper. An experienced writer focuses on global revisions on top of local revisions. They are not afraid to edit their deeper ideas or even start over completely if needed. I believe that the difference between my first draft and final draft of essay two shows that I not only achieve learning outcome one, but also fit into Sommers’ category of the experienced writer. The first example of my edits is content. In my first draft I end my second paragraph rather abruptly. This ruins the flow of my paper and doesn’t fully develop my idea of the potential of combining art and science. In my second draft I end the paragraph with evidence and direction for thought. This not only allows my paper to flow into the next paragraph, but also allows me to fully emphasize my ideas. My second example of edits is organization. In the third paragraph of my first draft, I start the paragraph by first talking about a social balance of art and science and then shift to balance in an individual. However, to benefit to organization of my paper, my final draft starts by talking about the narrow point (the individual) and then shifts to the more broad topic (society). This made my paper flow more smoothly. Third is an example of a clarity edit. Sometimes I have a good idea but struggle to word it in a coherent way. In my first draft I state in my thesis that integration of art and science is impossible. However, that wasn’t the exact idea I wanted to get across. In my final draft I am more clear with my thoughts stating forceful integration is a bane to finding a balance of art and science. Instead we need a natural integration. This example shows my ability to look back on what I said and what I was trying to say and clarify my thoughts. Lastly, my local edits are clear after reading my first and final draft. This is due to proof-reading that I do after writing every paper. Overall, I feel that the edits I described above show that I have become the “experienced writer” Sommers talks about.

Learning Outcome 2:

“Be able to integrate their ideas with those of others using summary, paraphrase, quotation, analysis, and synthesis of relevant sources.”

     Throughout this ENG 110 course I have learned to effectively use quotes to support my argument. My process for adding quotes starts with writing my first draft without quotes and then I go back and find areas that would be well supported with a quote. This allows the quote to truly support my argument instead of twisting my argument in order to support the quote. I will use an example from one of my final drafts to explain how I effectively use quotes.

 Yo-Yo Ma, an accomplished musician, explains that these two go hand and hand in innovation. Ma clearly states, “The values behind arts integration – collaboration, flexible thinking, and disciplined imagination – lead to the capacity to innovate”(258). Ma is broadly describing the potential our country can obtain if we fix this lack of integration; the creativity of art will lead us to new and fresh ideas. Writer and scientist Jonah Lehrer goes into more of the specifics of integrating art and science in his essay

My first sentence is introducing Yo-Yo Ma and giving context for the quote. The second sentence is the quote itself. The third sentence is dedicated to summarizing the quote and hitting it’s key points. The last sentence is using the quote for the sake of my argument. In this case I am using synthesis because I am about to connect it to a quote from another text. Overall, this is the structure I try to use for not only my quotes, but all my evidence because it deeply roots my evidence into my paper and helps me avoid pitfalls such as the “hit-and-run” quote. By using the quote sandwich technique taught in class, all of my evidence has become more supportive of my argument which can be seen in my papers.

Learning Outcomes 5 and 6:

“Document their work using appropriate conventions (MLA).”

“Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling).”

     This final draft shows that I have accomplished MLA formatting and grammar thoroughly. I have learned to successfully use in-text citations, works cited pages, and to correct my surface errors. First, here is an example of my in-text citations:

 Even Yo-Yo Ma, a musician and STEAM advocate, states in his essay “Necessary Edges: Arts, Empathy, and Education” that “Equilibrium is what all life forms are seeking in order to survive”(259)

While I don’t use the authors name in the in-text citation, I introduce the author in the sentence before therefore it is unnecessary. I do the with most of my in-text citations. Second my works cited page includes all the sources I have used in alphabetical order. All sources are written to fulfil MLA guidelines. Lastly, my grammar has greatly improved throughout this course. This is not only because I have been writing a lot more, but also because I have added in a proof-read after every time I write. I proof-read after each paragraph, and again at the end of the whole essay. This has allowed fewer spelling errors to escape into my final draft. Overall I have been able to achieve learning outcomes 5 and 6 by just adding a few extra steps to my writing process.

Learning Outcome 4:

“Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.”

I approach peer review much like I approach a text. I read it actively like a conservation. My replies to the conversation are the suggestions I leave. I then follow it up by end with a brief paragraph expanding on my comments. An example of one of my peer reviews can be found here. This peer review is a great example of my comments meeting the four categories of peer comments. The first category is ideas. My 3rd and 4th comments in my peer review talk about the ideas presented in my peer’s thesis. While they introduce their supporting text well, their thesis lacks their own personal ideas. This makes arguing their main idea difficult. I suggested adding more of their own thoughts. The second category is evidence. In comments 5 and 6 I suggest that my peers use more specific examples (evidence) to strengthen their argument and lengthen their paragraph. The third example is organization. This category is best shown in comment 14. In this comment I suggest they move the paragraphs about where they find beauty to thing beginning. This would allow them to start broad and get more specific, a organizational choice that would help the flow of their essay. The last category is local feedback. This include the smaller suggestions such as word choice, spelling errors, and formatting. I usually don’t touch on these errors because I feel global review is more beneficial. However, comment 10 and 2 show that I am capable of giving local feedback. I also included suggestions such as proofreading in my peer review letter. Overall, this essay embodies the peer reviewing skills I have developed throughout this English 110 course.