As a begin to revise my first paper, my main goal it to argue the value and purpose of art in a clear and concise way. By using evidence from the text, my ideas should be well formed and supported. Having an idea of my main goal will help me begin to make smaller revisions in order to achieve it.

The First step I would like to take is to look over my notes from the original reading of the text. By going back through my notes I will be able to find quotes that stuck out to me. I will then be able to use these quotes as evidence in my essay in order to strengthen my main ideas. I see this step as my largest challenge because the size of the text makes it harder to quickly find specific quotes however, my summary and notes on eportfolio should help me go back and find ideas from the text.

Second, I am going to better describe the Peter Singer analogy in a way the reader will truly understand its purpose in my essay. Right now it feels as though it doesn’t truly fit in. In order to better utilize the analogy I will first go back an look at my notes to brush up on its argument. Next, I will write the analogy and my main argument on paper and brainstorm connections between the two. After that I should have a better idea on how to incorporate it into my essay.

Lastly, I am going to go through my essay and make sure all my connections, ideas, and sentences make sense and serve a purpose to my argument. My main tool here is going to be my peer reviews. My peers gave excellent feedback on sentences that didn’t quite fit in or sound right. By looking at their advice I should be able to correct most of these awkward sentences. I will then finish it up by proofreading multiple times and make sure my ideas don’t just make sense to me, but my audience as well.

During the revision process I may get stuck or run out of ideas. If that happens I have multiple tools to get me going again. The little seagull handbook is an excellent resource help me through the revision process. Another excellent source of help would be going to my teacher or peers. Overall, I am confident that I have the tools I need to revise and strengthen my essay.