For my essay I am planning on using a variety of modes of communication including visual, auditory, and spatial. This includes using videos, pictures, hyperlinks, and audio clips to support my ideas. I plan on using sounds and pictures to help compare an contrast what society and I view as beautiful. My current plan for hyperlinks and videos is to use them as evidence to support my argument. Some hyperlinks will be to peers projects such as the one about Art is hospitals. This will allow me to draw in other’s ideas to help support my own. Overall, while I’m not quite yet sure how it will all fit yet (we will start to find that out in the free draft) I am exciting to be able to use other modes of composition to support my argument.
The following is a lite outline to help guide my writing. I’m not sure exactly how I want to format and organize it. I feel like my essay will really begin to take shape as I start to write. Bellow are just some of the points I want to touch on in order to hit the criteria on the rubric:
Beauty: Life’s Natural Motivation
Thesis: Beauty is all around us gives and gives the hope and will to keep moving on.
-Make sure to at least introduce Schiller in the introduction
-Include a hook
Main idea one: My personal experience with beauty
Detail: -I strive to find beauty in everything, this gives me appreciation of life
-Pictures of Beauty and explain
Detail:- Looking for the beauty in everything gives hope
-Example from world(Maybe a sound clip)
Detail: – Certain beauty can be motivation
-(another opportunity for a sound clip)
Main idea two: Armstrong and Schiller: The two drives
Detail:- Summarize and explain Schiller’s views
-use quotes from the text to help
-Use pictures to aid
Detail: -I like what he’s saying however it’s too simple
-Beauty is a complexity, can’t be as simple
Detail:-We don’t need the level of understanding Armstrong is describing
-while it may be nice beauty can be appreciated at any level
-Self examples and world examples
Main idea Three: The Role of beauty in current society
Detail: -Society’s views on beauty are hard to pin down
-so many different beliefs
-explain some beliefs (maybe video or pictures)
Detail:-Compare society’s beliefs to own
-Make sure to include examples
-Explain how these difference affect views on life
Detail:- Hit home on how beauty can motivate people
-great opportunity to use the School of Life video
-use a quote or clip
– Should society change views of beauty?
Conclusion:Beauty is beyond what we currently understand. But as long as we appreciate it ourselves, it is serving its current purpose.
-Wrap up points, especially where I disagree with Schiller
The points which you have made throughout your outline are very strong. In particular I enjoy how you plan not only to integrate your own ideas of beauty, but also your peers and society’s opinions as well. My only suggestion is to work on your conclusion, but this will clearly be developed more thoroughly as you begin to write. Overall, this outline is very well thought.
I think you do an excellent job of synthesizing your own ideas of beauty, and defending them. In addition, you are able to articulate your peers and society’s opinions, while not allowing them to dominate to the point that you become lost in your own paper. That is a mistake that a lot of essay writers make, in my opinion by relying totally on their sources as a crutch. They summarize their sources, quote their sources, and paraphrase their sources until the cows come home, so to speak. I also love how distinct your three main points are, and how easily they tie into your sources’ opinions. I would caution you however, against tying your sources too much into your introductory paragraph. Although it is important to acknowledge the importance of other writers in your essay, I feel that in this format it is best to bring up other sources only as they come up in each paragraph, to make it clear who’s essay it is.
Anthony,
I love the idea that beauty is one of those things we just can’t understand–It makes me think back to the last two essays that we just read.
It seems like you took full advantage of the outline as a brainstorming tool. You may also want to fall back on the “clustering” prewriting activity we did in class for our first paper. This could help you explore new connections.
3/3